Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Highlights From My Twitter

So once a week I'm gonna post some of my more humorous updates from Twitter, to fill the empty void in your life between posts...

Friday Feb 19th

5:59 AM: Was awakened by someone trying to kick in his front door.

6:00AM: When they went around to the back door and tried to kick that in, I freaked out and grabbed a claw hammer and stood ready to defend myself!

6:02 AM:  Room mate was smarter and called 911. I continued to stand on the other side of the door claw hammer in hand.

6:03 AM:  Cops came and arrested the guy

Saturday Feb 20th

11:48 AM:  Can't tell if that's a homeless man or a hipster being ironic...

Tuesday Feb 24th

8:56 AM:  Is on a bus full of small children, and his assistant is not answering the phone...

9:06 AM: Children now chanting "we're going on a train!!!" Have followed me to the plateform.... Kill me now!

9:11 AM: Turned to hipster guy "that was the worst bus I've been on since kindergarten" hipster creepily replies "it was the BEST one I've been on!"'

9:11 AM:  I walk quickly away from the pedophile hipster.

10:02 AM: Assistant continues to bullshit about location. Lights still aren't here, is supposed to shoot 2 minutes ago...

Anyway not super exciting, next week might be more humorous

Geyer Out

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Theories on the Bush Doctrine and Fast Food

So, I for one am really pissed about our new president...  He seems to be doing a good job, and so far I can't find anything to make fun of him about...  

Bush on the other hand was pure comedy gold.  The only problem is, now all my Bush jokes are simply insulting a retired senior citizen...

Anyway, before it get's too old and pointless I'd like to say he was unfit to manage a Taco Bell, much less the entire country.

Seriously, he'd be all like "Guys!!!  Wendy's has been stockpiling french fries to attack us!  We must destroy this threat to our restaurant!"

Then, he'd ask Burger King if they wanted to help invade Wendy's to look for the illegal french fries.

Burger King would be like "Fuck that man, we don't care about your stupid taco problems!"

Then Bush would tell all the Taco Bell employees that Burger King was just a bunch of pussies who hated freedom, and invade Wendy's by himself.

The invasion would last at least four years, taco quality would suffer dramatically, and when anyone asked about why they were still at war with Wendy's he'd try to confuse them all by saying that Wendy's was actually helping those skater kid's who made the sign out front say stuff about penises instead of the weekly special.

So that's my opinion on fast food, or Bush's foriegn policy.....  Or both?

Geyer Out

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

New Blog (or The Demise of My Livejournal)

In the beginning, there was Josh, and he created a Livejournal, and he saw that it was good, and he posted on the Livejournal for many months, and it was good.

Then in February 2009, he looked upon his Livejournal and saw it had become corrupt and filled with emo...ness.  Josh became filled with a great anger and spake thus:  "Fuck this!  I'm just gonna delete this godamn thing and move to Blogspot like everyone else and their mom..."

And he did so.

So I'm on Blogspot now.  Be prepared for many, many posts.

That is all,

Geyer Out